13 reasons why.. an honest review

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13 Reasons Why has blown up the internet, Netflix and bookshelves in the past few weeks. For those of you who have watched it/read it you can probably understand why. The issues this story deals with are ones that all people can relate to. The main issues that it deals with are bullying, suicide, treatment of others, body shaming and an abundance more, in fact the issues and lessons that can be learned from this story are endless. After finishing the story it took me several days to recover from the emotions that it evoked. Most importantly, it took several days to make sense of the thoughts it evoked… but of all the thoughts that it evoked not one had to do with placing the blame only on Hannah…

There was one particular comment made by someone regarding this story that particularly got me considering the fact that people have missed the point. This comment was as follows “choosing to commit suicide is no ones fault but your own”. I agree, that IF we lived in a world where we were alone and unaffected by others then YES, there is no one to blame but one self for committing suicide. However, you must consider the fact that we don’t live in a world by ourselves. We live in a world with a million other people and we interact with at minimum 10 people a day. All people in which impact us in some sort of way, whether it be positive or negative. Irregardless of the impact they have on us, we are nonetheless still impacted. For those of you who try to argue this point I ask you this: if you want to believe you are not impacted by others then how do you feel when your bullied? How do you feel if you are raped? How do you feel if you are beat? Did it impact you? The answer is yes. If it didn’t impact you in some type of way then a bubble is where you might live. In that case, I envy you for never being impacted negatively or positively. In reality, in REAL life, the people around us impact us. Whether we want to admit that or not they do. The point is that we don’t live in a world on our own we live in a world with a million other people and whether we want to admit it or not the people around us impact us.

To make a statement that it’s no one but her own fault for taking her own life, in part is true. She did indeed take her own life (in the story of course) and for that she is to blame, PARTIALLY. However, the whole story in which you read or watched goes beyond this obvious fact. THIS RIGHT HERE is the point that has been missed. The whole point of the story is that everyone contributed to her death and lead her to feel a particular way about life. In life we have minimal control, we cannot control what happens to us and (as much as people want to believe) we cannot control how people make us feel. Feelings are sometimes uncontrollable. If you want to argue this point I will make an example. Try loving someone and being told not to. Try being stabbed and try not hurting. As you can see, we can not turn ourselves off to what we feel. Feelings, whether we like them or not are there and we must deal with them as they come. My point here is that we cannot control how others make us feel nor can we control how we feel at the end of the day… feelings are there.

This all being said, there is a proper way to address the topic of suicide and that is to talk about. Let’s have the conversation! Let’s discuss why this happens, because maybe just maybe understanding it can change something in this world. And this is exactly what this story is trying to get people to do: DISCUSS suicide and take responsibility. Suicide, is not a popular subject, in fact, no one wants to talk about it, but it should be talked about because it’s something people face every day. Here is a quick fact for you, nearly 43,000 Americans alone die from suicide each year. That is in AMERICA only… does that number surprise you? It should, because that’s a LOT of people. This clearly shows that something has gone wrong here. These are people who don’t want to be here anymore, why? You might ask, well… 13 Reason’s Why addresses some of those reasons…. and it starts with US and ends with them.

What this show/book is trying to show is that ALL of us contribute to someone’s decision to commit suicide. Our contributions, small or large, make us in part, responsible for their death. You can easily ride off the blame by saying something like “they had an issue”, “they were messed up in the head”, “they were unhappy”, “it’s their choice and their the only ones to blame”, but the problem with that is you haven’t looked at yourself and how you might be to blame. THIS IS THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS STORY! This is exactly what happened in the story. The students, her friends, rode off the blame, just as we do when we say something like “there is no one to blame but themselves”. By riding off the blame and responsibility you are doing exactly what the characters in the story initially did and that is not taking responsibility for the impacts you made.

The moral of this story is that we need to re-evaluate ourselves and most importantly re-evaluate the way that we treat people, talk to people and what we do to people because we DO have an impact on other peoples lives. At the end of the day it is our decision whether or not we are going to make that impact a good one or a bad one. These are the things we need to be thinking about while watching the show and reading the book. This story opens the door for discussion to talk about what we can do to make our world a better place or what we can do to give someones life a little more purpose. This story forces us to look at ourselves and some of us just aren’t ready to do that, but if you want to make this world a better place that’s exactly where you have to begin, with yourself. This story opens the door to the fact that we need to come together and make this world a better place to live in so people want to live in it, it all starts with US.

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Abs-olutely!

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Seems like now more than ever the world is obsessed with body image and the way that we look. The goal is to make the pendulum swing where people become obsessed with being healthy as opposed to body image. Just because you look good does not necessarily mean you are a healthy individual. Healthy does NOT mean skinny or having abs, mind you. What I mean by healthy is living a healthy life-style. Some exercise,  healthy food, and minimal harmful substances to the body. To eliminate harmful substances (ex. alcohol or deep dish pizza) however, is easier said than done. To be completely honest, I say it’s impossible and some what unnecessary. There is no reason to take health diets and workout sessions to extensive lengths. To achieve a happy medium is what your body is looking to do. To cut out a night drinking your favorite wine or a deep dish pizza meal would make life miserable and to be honest will make your goal of leading a healthy life-style miserable. It is proven that if you feel your punishing yourself from eating or doing things you like then the diet and health plan will fail. The key is to find a happy medium and that’s what my diet plan has done for me and with some tweaks can be achieved by someone else to achieve a happy and healthy state where your confident with your body and plan of maintaining optimal health.

In preparation for my wedding I attempted a few diets and tried to work out as much as I could while also eliminating all “bad things” (alcohol etc) from my routine. However, it always failed. I was determined to find something that would fit me, my busy life-style and that would not fail after two weeks. I was looking for a diet that wouldn’t leave me hungry or angry (that I couldn’t consume some pizza), I was looking for a workout that was quick and to the point that didn’t require me to go to a gym and I was looking for ways to optimize my energy and cleanse my body. Lastly and most importantly, I was looking for something that would allow that cheat meal or that cheat drink and let me be rebellious at least once a week and cheat on my health plan without feeling totally guilty and horrible about myself. I did my research and realized what I was looking for didn’t exist. So my next step was to develop my own type of health plan. I took elements that worked for me and proved to improve weight loss and a healthy life-style and I combined everything into one. I stayed on my health plan for about 6 months and lost a total of 16 pounds and found that I indeed was burning fat, loosing weight, increasing my energy and feeling a while lot better as a whole. I began to post my progress and I got bombarded with questions about what I did to achieve what I did. Because I got such a huge response to my results I decided that I should publish my health plan and what I did so that others can tweak it (according to their own lives and wants and needs) and accomplish what I did while making it a routine to maintain a healthy life-style. Can you accomplish this?

Abs-olutely!

 

Elisa’s Health Plan (2016)

Morning:

-Right when you wake up take a shot of apple cider vinegar diluted with lemon juice with a glass of water (this helps to kick start your metabolism and to cleanse your body, apple cider vinegar has a variety of health benefits. Be sure to dilute it and only take it in the morning; excessive swallowing of acid can wear away at your esophagus and you don’t want to cause any hard to your throat.)

-Take supplement (this is a weight loss pill which also helps to maximize energy and curve craving — there are a variety of supplements out there, I did heavy research before I settled on one and the one I settled on was as natural as it gets. It’s important these supplements are used as directed and that you do your research! Ps. Make sure you also are aware that these are only to be used temporarily and eventually you will lean off them. Supplement pills are also not magic so alone do not expect them to really do much, it is a combined effort)

-Drink protein (lean) shake with fruit as a meal replacement for the morning.

-If possible do a workout focusing solely on the area of interest. For example, I was primarily focused on my abs; therefore, I did about an hour of ab work outs created by myself. If an AM work out is not possible then plan to do one sometime throughout the day or split up the workout 30 min in the morning and 30 min in the evening. (PS YOGA COUNTS– you’d be surprised how much yoga works your core)

Lunch:

-Half hour before lunch take a supplement. Be sure to drink water and stay hydrated throughout the day.

-Lunch should be consumed before 12:30 PM (if you eat carbs this is your only meal of the day that you can have them– if not then reserve your carb intake for a cheat meal. I downloaded my fitness app to ensure that whatever I was eating for lunch was appropriate in calories, fat and nutrients, it is a good app to check what is in what you are eating and can help you keep track of what you eat throughout the day)

Dinner:

-Dinner consists of a protein and veggies (no carbs). I always cooked a steak or chicken and a healthy side.

-If you have a sweet tooth and are craving a sweet dessert there are some protein desserts you can make that are high i protein and taste good, one of them is a mug cake and all you need is chocolate lean protein powder and 1 egg white.

-All food must be consumed before 7:30 PM.

*Allow one cheat meal a week and if you like your wine you’re allowed one night of wine drinking.

*NOTE- I consume very little sugar if any at all throughout the day. The goal is to eliminate sugar and most carbs from your diet. I gave a general outline of my plan so that you have the liberty to take your health into your own hands and find meals, work outs and supplements/protein powders that suit you. Once you get into a routine you should shed weight and feel much better (as far as energy levels, concentration and mood). I cannot explain how much better I felt when I was on this diet, I hope the same is for anyone who tries it. Also, after about three months all supplements should be leaned off of and discontinued. The routine should become a life-style and not taken to extremes. They say it takes about 3 months to break a habit or become addicted so lets become addicted to a life-style change! Good luck & if you have any questions feel free to ask.

xox,

Elisa Electra

 

 

A little about me…

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Elisa Antonietta Electra De Feo-Romanucci is my name, complex but it suits me. I just added the last name Kelly into the mix in January, so to avoid too much confusion, I go by Elisa Electra. It’s a good pen name  and it just seemed to stick. Simple, sweet and kinda out there; so the shoe fits. Just like my name, my life and story are just as complex. I was born in a small town in Italy and moved to America with my mother a few years later. My life consisted of taking yearly trips to Italy to see my dad and my Italian side of the family. In a strange way, I lead a split life. I lead half a life in Italy and half a life in America. Although both amazing in their own ways, this “split life” was nonetheless challenging. Having to come to a new country, learn a new language and somehow make sense of my life was harder than one can imagine. However, I managed and successfully was able to lead a split life and with that I learned to value time. I learned to value the time I spent with my mom because come summer I would be in Italy for three months without her. I learned to value time with my dad because come September my sister and I were back in Chicago with our mother and beginning a new school year.

Time was of value. I always felt like there was so little time, even as a child, there was just never enough. At seven years old, my dad died suddenly. The thing that hurt the most was that I never felt I spent enough time with him, and I was right, I didn’t. He was 33 years old when he died and I was 7, that’s only but a small piece of my life that I got to know or spend time with my dad. Now, at 24, that’s the thing that hurts the most. The lost time we could have had together. I decided then that time was of the essence and that I was going to make the most of every minute I had. Some people say this figuratively without true action or meaning behind it, but when I said it I meant it. People who know me know that I am a FREAK about time. I am always on time, I make sure all that I do is worth the time and effort it takes, and I know my time (like everyone else’s) is limited on this earth so it’s now or never.

Years pass too fast and so many things happen within that time I wanted to somehow find a way to salvage it. Although I have a nack for writing I didn’t feel writing a book would be appropriate. I felt a blog would be the best way to document my time, my journey, my accomplishments, my failures, my mistakes, my goals and my life. I felt a blog was the best way for me to get my story, thoughts and experiences out there to document them for myself, for my kids (someday in the far future) , for my sisters and family, or for someone out in the world. If just one person in the world were to read even just 1 blog post and it change something in them and motivate or help them, then this blog has accomplished it’s goal. All in all, I feel my blog has a variety of purposes, but most of all it is a window into my life to somehow help others with theirs.

So a little about who I am what I like and where I am going. I am 24 years old, I am a dedicated/hard-working student and proud nerd currently in the process of receiving my second bachelors degree and in the process of applying for graduate school. My education goal is to receive my doctorate degree and practice medicine. I currently work at a children’s hospital in Chicago and am heavily involved in volunteering. I truly believe in giving back to others even if it’s as simple as donating your hair to cancer, small things count! Besides this boring stuff, I am the second of 5 girls and the daughter of my amazing hard working mother and dedicated and strict step-dad (how he has put up with all 5 of us I have no clue).  I am the wife of a strong, motivating and amazing man that I first laid eyes on 11 years ago. I am  also a friend of some amazing women and men that make this world a little better by just being in it. I am an unique person and I promise you will only meet someone like me once in your lifetime. My interests are many. I enjoy sports (ice skating is my favorite), reading, writing, fitness, education/learning, teaching, fashion, traveling, food, beautiful places, dogs, motorcycles, art, spending time with family and friends, advocating for those who don’t have a voice and breaking barriers. You will get a little bit of everything because that’s just how I am.

What is your blog going to be about you ask? Well, everything. There is not just ONE thing that sums up my life. My life is made up of a variety of experiences, trials and errors, ideas, thoughts and experiments and it will all be documented here. Everyone’s life is unique and different from the next person’s and that’s what makes mine unique from the rest. So sit back relax and grab some popcorn because if your following you’re in for a bumpy, upside down, once in a lifetime type-a-ride.

xox,

Elisa Electra